Climate Change Idol Coming Soon
The game show that is Congress is nearly done with its first act of the new year. The performer, Health Care Reform (H.C.R.), started out great. In her first thirty seconds she hit all the high notes and put on a show that would make Madonna blush. But the last minute was a killer. The stones started flying. A couple of the 60 mice (an integral part of the show) refused to dance until they got some extra pay. And parts started falling off of her costume until, in the end, she was almost unrecognizable from her entrance. Simon and company were brutal on the act. We'll just have to wait for the public's official vote, but it doesn't look good.
If you look carefully in the wings, you'll see the next act. It's a big guy, probably a baritone, and he's . . . trembling like a wet kitten C.C.L. (Climate Change Legislation) has been watching what happened to H.C.R. and appears to be looking for the exit. A quick text message to bolster C.C.L.'s spirits might be in order:
C.C.,
You need to buck up, kid. It's not as bad as it looks. Let me give you three great reasons why they're gonna love you.
First, you're not even distantly related to H.C.R. Sure, you've got the same promoter, but you've been practicing a lot more than her and the number you're going to do is a lot more popular. Comparing your acts is like comparing apples and cars -- you'd like to have them both, but one has nothing to do with the other.
Second, you may not know it, but your fan club grew last week. You know that group that you thought hated your song? A bunch of them actually love it! Turns out that they think they can might be able to make some money off of it. Two separate corporate groups, having a total of more than 150 businesses want you to succeed. I'm talking heavy weights here: Toyota, Alcoa, PepsiCo, Shell and Campbell's. The Republican members of the audience, the one's with the really big rocks, are going to think twice about sending those rocks your way with supporters like these. Don't believe me? Listen for yourself. One group put an ad in the Wall Street Journal and said:
How will America take back control of its energy future while enhancing our national Security? . . . How can we protect our natural resources and future generations from climate change? . . . We believe it's time for Democrats and Republicans to unite behind bi-partisan, national energy and climate legislation that increases our security and limits emissions, as it preserves and creates jobs. It's a question of American leadership.
And another group sent a letter to the President and Congress saying:
American business leaders from companies of all sizes and sectors of our economy call on you to move swiftly and boldly to enact comprehensive energy and climate legislation. . . . We need strong policies and clear market signals that support the transition to a low-carbon economy and reward companies that innovate. . . . We stand ready to to work with you to create and grow this important economic sector. Now is the time to act. Together we can lead.
Wow! You can almost feel the love. And this comes from the group that everybody said didn't like your song. All H.C.R ever got was hate mail and death threats. You've got some great buzz.
And finally, news from the group that actually counts --your voting public. Two new polls show that there is strong bipartisan support to take action on climate change. I know it sounds contrary to what you heard last week, but do polls lie? That's your song that they're talking about! (A small word of advise: Before you start singing, announce that your song is in support of making America safer from our enemies. Don't ask why, just do it).
I see that Simon is just about done ripping apart . . . err . . . providing creative criticism to H.C.R. In a few minutes it will be your turn. Stand up straight, look the camera in the eye and belt out that song like our life depended on it (because it just might).
